It’s not uncommon to isolate yourself while experiencing trying times. After all, you are supposed to have it together, figured out, and accomplished. Right? How would your friends or family understand what you are going through, and would their view change if they knew you didn’t have it all together, figured out, and accomplished?
Those are the questions that replay in our minds when we find ourselves in positions that could compromise how we are viewed by others. You may feel great when you have money saved in the bank, some in your wallet, and even some to spare. Your bills are paid, your marriage is great, the kids are behaving, no surgeries scheduled, your relationships are cool, you love your job, and you are the life of the party! Yes, you are totally winning!! Then you have to get your car fixed and the bill is a huge chunk of your savings or buy a new car, your marriage crumbles and divorce is the hot topic in the home, you hurt yourself and have to have surgery, your job decides to downsize and you are back searching for employment. Everything that was so great seems to be shaky and you find yourself in need of help financially, emotionally, spiritually and physically.
How did you get here? What would others think if you no longer had your car or had to ask for a couple of hundred dollars just to get by? How would your family see you if you decided to get a divorce? You are in despair and the only thing you can do is push people away. You stop taking calls, stop going out, and fold deep into your hurting self and all because you don’t want to possibly be judged.
I bet many reading this Love Note can relate to at least one of these things, and if you can’t, then maybe you know someone who can. It’s a tough, hurting road with winding curves and paths leading all to one miserable place. That place is Isolation. Isolation is a huge trick of depression and suicide because that’s the ground where they love to play! Playing with your head and heart by telling you you’re not good enough, nobody cares and you are nothing. Those horrible tricks begin to cause you to feel unworthy, weak and down. They can cause you to become emotionally detached from people, but negatively attached to substances or things that are not good you. Isolation is an emotional downfall, a bottomless pit that causes more harm than potentially being judged.
I get it. Nobody wants to feel not good enough, but there comes a time when you have to ask yourself “what am I allowing to define me as a person?” Life will throw some curve balls, and if your ability to smile and live is based on stuff then you will always find yourself worried about judgement. Your things should not define you, but you should define you! Your ability to love, laugh, create, help, be kind, get up and try should not be based on stuff or what people think, but based on the peace within yourself to understand and know that you are worth love, kindness and respect regardless of your situation!
Nobody is perfect and a real friend, loving family member or supporting spouse would never make you feel as if they were judging you in the first place! Sometimes you need help! Sometimes you will cry! Sometimes relationships don’t work out! Sometimes you don’t have it together, figured out and accomplished, but it is okay! Don’t be tricked into dealing with it alone. The same love, kindness and respect you received while on top is the very same love, kindness and respect you deserve while going through hell. Don’t accept a drop less!
People will be placed in your life to help, encourage and guide you through the hard times, but you will block every blessing by choosing to be in isolation! Even the animals know there is safety in numbers! Surround yourself with those who are truly for you. Allow them to be there and avoid the emotional downfall of isolation!
I hope you enjoyed this week’s Love Note. Be good to yourself and others! Have a great rest of the week and many, many blessings!
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Written by Nichole Lewis, Certified Life Coach
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